Happy Drabble Fun Time
by Magic Cabbage
Summary: These are a bunch of random drabbles that my slightly disturbed mind has conjured up. Hopefully, they will manage to make you laugh. Or atleast smile. Merlin would want you to read these. Trust me.
1. Chapter 1  Names

**Drabble thing. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Doesn't Merlin have many names or something? I kind of imagine him having a few thousand names. **

**Is this a drabble? It's exactly 100 words. Someone tell me if it's a drabble or not cuz I'm not entirely sure. I'm still new to Fanfiction world.**

**Gah, I'm such a newb aren't I?**

**Oh, and review. Please. **

**Names.**

A visiting noble named Lord Anasian was chatting with King Arthur when the court sorcerer came up to the table.

Anasian, being the polite man he was, introduced himself and asked his name.

"Well, I go by many names." Merlin explained.

"Then what are your names?" the lord asked, expecting there only to be a few. Merlin pulled out a very long piece of paper and began reading.

"Well there's Merlin, which I normally go by, and Emrys, and Dragonlord, and…"

And Merlin listed a few hundred more.

"Oh." The lord said several hours later. "I'll just call you Merlin."


	2. Chapter 2 I Can Do Anything

**Another drabble thing. I'm not even sure why I'm drabbling. I'm so bored…. Review please!**

**I CAN DO ANYTHING:**

"You can't do anything!" Arthur Yelled.

"I can do anything!" Merlin yelled. "I just chose not to!"

"Well then go destroy Mercia within an hour" Arthur said smugly. There was no way Merlin could do that.

"Fine. Be right back." Merlin said stomping off.

**(Lalalalala)**

A little under an hour later, Merlin came stomping in.

"There! I did it!" He said and proceeded to do his chores.

Arthur was a bit confused, until a messenger came and told the Arthur and Uther that Mercia had fallen.

And ever since that day, Arthur decided not to get on Merlin's bad side.


	3. Chapter 3 Sometimes it's really a friend

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**You know when you say your "friend" has a problem, and you really mean you do? Sometimes it really is a friend, but you can't say their name, so the person you are talking to thinks its you. So um, yeah. Enjoy and Review!**

**Sometimes it really is a friend:**

"Hey Arthur" Merlin said one day. "I have this um, friend, who has a slight problem."

"What is it?" Arthur asked, assuming the "Friend" meant Merlin.

"My friend loves you. Would you like to go on a date with them?" Merlin asked.

Arthur was speechless. Since Merlin kept saying "friend", Arthur assumed Merlin was asking him out.

"Oh um, n-no thank you. I don't r-really want any relationship." Arthur stuttered. He didn't think Merlin swung that way!

"Oh," Merlin said looking disappointed. "That's too bad." Merlin walked out into the hall.

"Sorry Gwen, he said no!" Merlin told poor Gwen.


	4. Chapter 4 SIRIAF part 2

**Disclaimer: It's rather obvious that I don't own Merlin, isn't it?**

**I was reading some stuff about season 4, and apparently (SPOILER ALERT) Merlin loses his powers. If he is powerless for more than 2 episodes I swear I will go on strike and stop watching until he gets his powers back :O (End of Spoiler alert)**

…

**Okay so Cennamace requested a part 2 to "Sometimes it really is a friend". So here it is :D Hope you think it's good!**

**Sometimes it really is a friend Part 2:**

The next day, Arthur was walking around the castle avoiding Merlin, when he overheard two maids gossiping.

"I heard Gwen asked Merlin to ask out the prince for her"

"Yeah, and apparently she was rejected."

"Poor dear, I thought those two liked each other."

"She should have asked him herself though"

"She was probably shy, and afraid of being rejected!"

After hearing that, Arthur realized it was a misunderstanding. Merlin really should have been clearer.

And so, Arthur went to find Gwen so he could apologize and ask her out. And find Merlin to have him muck out the stables.


	5. Chapter 5 Gwen is Evil EEVVILL!

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Merlin.**

**So yesterday I saw this dark!Gwen video thing on youtube, and now Gwen really scares me O_O Like, seriously. I'm 99% sure she is plotting something, every time she smiles. I'm expecting her to hug someone and stab them in the back, literally. And my fear of Gwen has inspired this. So hope you enjoy :D Review please!**

**Gwen is Evil. EEVVILL!**

Gwen and Merlin were doing laundry, talking about Morgana one day.

"I can't believe she became so evil," Gwen sighed.

"I know. We never expected it." Merlin said. "It seems the ones who become evil are the ones who you would never suspect."

Suddenly Merlin had a very disturbing thought. "Say Gwen, you aren't an evil sorceress by any chance, right?"

Gwen stared at him for a moment. "Of course not!"

"Oh good. I got to go give Arthur lunch now, see you later!" Merlin said running off.

If he had turned around, he would have seen Gwen wickedly smirking.

**Don't get me wrong, I still like her and think she's nice and stuff, but I'm really suspicious of her now... Review please or Gwen will steal all your socks!**


	6. Chapter 6 Facial Hair

**Drabble 6**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Merlin :( **

**To those who reviewed last chapter, your socks are safe. To those of you who haven't... hide your socks from Gwen. **

**Has anyone noticed how well shaven the dudes in Merlin usually are? How'd they do that? I mean they didn't have razors back then. Or shaving cream. So um, yeah, I hope you enjoy :D And please review!**

**Facial Hair:**

"Hey Arthur?"

"What is it Merlin?" Arthur said, looking up from his papers.

"Why don't you have a beard, or any stubble?"

"Because I don't want a beard." Arthur said, as if that explained everything.

"But how do you shave? With a knife? Surely there would be SOME Stubble! You surely can't cut that close!" Merlin asked. He of course, used magic to get rid of facial hair.

"Well if you must know, Gaius makes potions that gets rid of hair. How do YOU shave Merlin?"

"Oh um…. The same way as you. Should I go get your dinner now?"

**Review :) **


	7. Chapter 7 PenDRAGON

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Pendragon:**

One sunny day in Camelot, Uther was discussing matters of Camelot with one of his advisors. Eventually, Uther began his hourly rant about magic. That was when the advisor realized something.

"Sire?" the advisor nervously asked.

"Yes?"

"Dragons are magical beasts right?"

"yes,"

"And you hate magic, right?"

"Of course." Uther thought that was fairly obvious.

"And you're okay with your name, sire?"

"What do you mean?" the king didn't understand what the problem was.

"Well… your name is Uther Pendragon. It has the word dragon in it."

Uther thought about this. "Send for the official name changer."

**Here was what I wrote when I first thought of the idea. It's like my rough draft: Adviz all like," hey u h8 magic stuf rite?" Utherz like," yah", and adviz all like "but pendrag has da word Dragon in it! So y don chu change yo name?" Utherz like "… GET DA ROYAL NAMEY CHANGAH!"**

**Horrible grammar, right? Well, please Review! :D**


	8. Chapter 8 Hiccups

Drabble 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :(**

**I had hiccups today, and they were annoying! So that inspired this. Enjoy and review :D**

**Hiccups:**

Arthur stood helplessly before the evil sorcerer. "_Where in the world is Merlin? I'm always miraculously saved when he's around, for some reason." _He thought.

"Now, prepare to die, Arthur Pendragon!" the sorcerer said gleefully, and began incanting.

"_Cara chyw awron darfod arhosa dwi hu-_ *Hic*"

The two men stared at each other awkwardly. Arthur didn't know sorcerers bent on the destruction of Camelot could get hiccups.

"_Cara chyw awron darf_.. *hic*"

*hic* "I shall leave, and return when *hic* these blasted hiccups leave!*hic* _Teleport 'm at 'm fam s d]"_ The sorcerer said, disappearing with a puff of smoke.


	9. Chapter 9 Magician

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**I finally figured out how to do that line thingy to seperate the author note thingy and the story :D! I feel slightly less nooby!**

**I forgot to write a drabble yesterday :( I was too busy reading a new book I got. Oh well here's chapter 9!**

**Magician:**

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><p>Merlin was walking through the castle one day carrying the prince's smelly laundry when something black on the floor caught his eye. After closer inspection, he realized it was a black top hat. He set down the laundry and went to pick it up.<p>

After picking it up, he noticed something white and furry inside. He pulled it out, and it turned out to be a fluffy bunny rabbit.

A group of passing guards saw Merlin pull the rabbit of the hat.

"SEIZE THE SORCERER!" One of the guards cried out, and they dragged poor innocent Merlin to the dungeons.

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><p><strong>Review please or kangaroo's will steal your TV.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10 Shooting Star

**Disclaimer:No I don't own Merlin, or Arthur, or Gwaine, or the dragon, or Morgana's smirk.**

**Reviews make me happy. You wouldn't want me to be sad, would you? So please review :)**

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><p>When Merlin was sneaking out of the castle one night to stop yet another sorcerer, he noticed a shooting star. He didn't really believe wishing on a star could grant anything, but he figured he might as well try. And so Merlin, being the kind soul that he was, quickly made a wish for everyone's happiness and safety for at least one day, and then went to continue sneaking out.<p>

When the young warlock said everyone, he didn't mean himself included. But the shooting star figured he of all people deserved some peace and happiness, so he included Merlin too.

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><p><strong>Wasn't a funny drabble this time, sorry if ya like humour. How about I tell ya a joke? Okay so this leprechaun walking into the grocery store, and... never mind its not that funny anyway. <strong>

**Review please!**


	11. Chapter 11 So who wants to die?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, sadly.**

**Have my drabbles been getting boring? I feel like they have... Maybe it's just me and my lack of self confidence or something like that. Oh well, review please and I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>"Foolish knights, your futile attempt to kill me will be your death." The evil sorcerer gloated. "So who wants to die?" he asked Arthur and several other knights.<p>

"I want to die!" Arthur proudly announced. The other knights and the sorcerer stared at him for several minutes before Arthur finally realized what was wrong with what he said.

"N-no wait, I meant I want to fight! I want to kill the sorcerer, um, I don't want to die…."

The sorcerer pitied him.

If Merlin was there, he would be rolling on the floor laughing at the prince for his stupidity.

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><p><strong>Review please!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12 Peer Pressure

**I'm not gonna write drabbles everyday, cuz I'll probably get bored of 'em. So i'll just write whenever I feel like it. I hope you enjoy, and please review :D**

The sorcerer was standing before Arthur and his knights, chanting a spell. The men weren't scared though. After all it was impossible to be scared of a 9 year old, even if he was an evil sorcerer.

"A_darfod arho!" _the kid said, finishing his spell. They all waited for something bad, but nothing happened.

"Darn it!" The kid said, stomping hard on the ground. "I messed up!" and he began pouting.

Arthur, who was beginning to become curious, asked "Why do you want to kill us?"

The very young sorcerer stopped pouting and said "Cuz all my friends want to."


	13. Chapter 13 Emrys

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**So yesterday I had the wierdest idea ever: Chicken waffles. Waffles with pieces of chicken in them. I really want to try to make some and see how they taste...**

**I rather like this one. I hope you guys do too :) **

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><p>After finding out that Emrys meant Immortal, Merlin began wondering if he actually was immortal.<p>

One day after lots of drinking with Gwaine, Merlin decided to find out if he was immortal or not. So he went to the top of the tallest tower in Camelot, and after only a few seconds of hesitation, he jumped. As he fell, he realized this probably wasn't his best idea. Arthur was right; he was a bit of an idiot.

The next morning Merlin, who was perfectly fine, wondered why he had been sleeping on the ground, and went to go wake Arthur.

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><p><strong>So did you like it? If you did, please review :D<strong>


	14. Chapter 14 Plotting

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**I don't know what possessed me to write this. I hope you enjoy :D And Please review! **

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><p>Merlin was plotting. He wanted revenge. He wanted Arthur to suffer like he had. To feel the cruel, humiliating pain of wearing that horrid hat. It haunted Merlin while he slumbered, and tormented him every time he saw even a single feather. He hid his pain and anger behind a goofy, innocent grin.<p>

Merlin was bidding his time, waiting for Arthur to forget. But Merlin would never forget. Not Ever. He swore to himself that one day, he would have his revenge. He would wait as long as needed.

And when he was sure no one was looking…..

…..He smirked.

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><p><strong>First Gwen, now Merlin. Next thing you know, I'll have Gaius smirking or something!<strong>

**Review please!**


	15. Chapter 15 Corsets

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Merlin :(**

**This is horrible, I know. Thats why I'm going to put up another drabble to hopefully make up for this one's horribleness.**

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><p>"I don't know, Morgause." Morgana said.<p>

"But sister, Uther has killed so much of our kind. Join me, and we can make him pay for all the cruel things he has done!"

"But he cares for me, and he is like a father to me! A cruel, strict, sadistic father, but still a father."

Morgause sighed. "I care for you just as much as he does! And I won't kill you for being yourself."

Morgana still looked unsure.

"And if you join me, no one will force you to wear a corset ever again!"

And that's why Morgana joined Morgause.

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><p><strong>So... review please? :D<strong>


	16. Chapter 16 Sock Puppets

**See, I'm putting up another one :D this one isn't the best either though...**

**Oh well. Enjoy and review please!**

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><p>Merlin was ordered to go muck out the stables. Merlin finished early (using magic) and returned to Arthur's chambers much earlier than Arthur expected. When Merlin opened the door, he saw something that would forever haunt him in his nightmares.<p>

Arthur was sitting on the floor, with socks covering both his hands.

"Why yes Billy Bob, I would like to go to Mulberry Market today!" Arthur made one of the sock puppets say.

Merlin cleared his throat, and Arthur looked up in horror realizing he had been caught.

And Merlin walked out, trying to erase the incident from his memory.


	17. Chapter 17 You Two Look Good Together

**Disclaimer: Me no owny Merlin.**

**Twas a stormy, summer night, and I was reading slashy fanfics. My mind began to wander, and somehow my twisted, magical mind came up with this. I Hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>So a prince and a warlock walked into a bar. Don't ask why, because I have no clue.<p>

Arthur and a disrespectful barmaid got into an argument over taxes, and when he revealed who he was he threatened to have her put in the stocks.

"If you put her in the stocks, she can embarrass you and just tell everyone it was because she turned you down." Merlin pointed out.

"Well honey, you two look good together, so you could probably do that too." She told Merlin.

Arthur and Merlin looked slightly horrified, while the barmaid laughed and walked away.

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><p><strong>So... did you enjoy it?<strong>

**If your answer is yes: You are awesome. Please review :D -gives you an invisible cookie-**

**If your answer is no: No cookies for you.**


	18. Chapter 18 Vegetables

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Merlin. **

**First sock puppets, now this... **

**I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>"But I don't want to eat my vegetables, Merlin! They taste horrible!" The prince whined.<p>

"You need to eat your vegetables to become a big, strong King one day." Merlin said.

"But I'm already big and strong!"

"Well vegetables give you good skin and hair…"

"But I already look perfect! How can I look any better than this?" Arthur asked.

"Arthur…." Merlin said, raising his eyebrow in a way that reminded Arthur of the Court Physician.

"Fine." The prince said, pouting.

The eavesdropping maid suppressed her giggles and ran off to tell the rest of the servants in the castle.

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><p><strong>Don't forget, reviews remind me that people actually read this stuff!<strong>


	19. Chapter 19 Unacceptable

**Disclaimer: I own a pet cat, but I don't own Merlin. Wait, never mind I don't own a cat either. :(**

**NOOO! I only have 6 days left of summer vacation! CURSE YOU EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM!**

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><p>Merlin was a sorcerer.<p>

Arthur couldn't believe it.

It didn't bother Arthur that Merlin was breaking the law. Arthur himself had broken it too many times to count. Laws were meant to be broken.

Arthur didn't even mind that Merlin never told him. I mean, who in their right mind would tell the son of Uther that they had magic? Merlin wasn't that much of an idiot.

But there was something that bugged Arthur. Merlin was now cooler than him. That was unacceptable!

Merlin would have to be sent to the stocks. Because cool people don't get pelted with fruit.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me happy. You want me to be happy right?<strong>


	20. Chapter 20 Haircut

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :(**

**Heyz. I haven't put up a drabble in forever. Mostly cuz I've been busy with school. School is not fun. I hate school. **

**The following drabble is based on a true story. Kind of... It's a bit exaggerated. **

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><p>Morgause had went out for a haircut that day. Because even evil sorceress's had to look their best.<p>

After having her hair cut, she turned around in the chair and looked in the mirror. When she saw her reflection her eyes widen and she gasped.

"YOU INSOLENT FOOL! YOU CUT IT TOO SHORT! I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INNARDS AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM AND - "

The hairdresser took the clip out of her hair and her long blond curls fell perfectly into place.

"Oh, never mind. It looks good. As a tip, I shall allow you to live."

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><p><strong>So... Did I make you chuckle? Or smile? If so, please tell me in a review. I would love to know.<strong>


	21. Chapter 21 Hurt

**Disclaimer: Me no own Merlin or Artykinz (aka Arthur).**

**I haven't drabbled in a while. So while listening to a depressing song, I came up with this.**

**This is kind of AU to me, since I really doubt Arthur could ever hate Merlin. Enjoy!**

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><p>Eyes full of hatred and disgust glared at Merlin across the room.<p>

Those eyes belonged to Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin had no intention of letting Arthur find out this way. But seeing those hateful eyes, Merlin had a feeling that even if he told Arthur himself, it wouldn't change much.

Seeing Arthur look so loathingly at him like that, really hurt. Not the physical kind of hurt that you can eventually heal up. No, this was that kind of hurt that buries itself in your heart forever.

Merlin hoped that somewhere, deep down, Arthur still thought of him as a friend.

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><p><strong>So review please :) Reviews remind me that people actually care about these drabbles.<strong>


	22. Chapter 22 Sword in the Stone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Wow I haven't wrote a drabble in forever. It's probably because when I finally get home i'm too tired to do anything except read and eat. Well, I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>One fine, sunny afternoon, two bloodthirsty bandits were taking a peaceful stroll through the forest. As they walked and chatted about the weather, they noticed a magnificent sword sticking out of a stone.<p>

"Oi Paul, dat thing must cost a ton!" The bandit named Jack exclaimed. Jack walked up to Excalibur, and firmly gripped the sword. He tried to pull it out, but failed.

"Step aside and watch how it's done" Paul said, swaggering up to the stone. He grabbed the hilt of the sword and yanked it, but it remained stuck.

"Let's just sell it with the stone too."

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><p><strong>So... did you like it? If you did, please review. Or even if you didn't like it, please review!<strong>


	23. Chapter 23 Friendship Day Part 1

**Disclaimer: I'm getting tired of saying I don't own Merlin.**

**There will be three or four more Friendship Day Drabbles. Here's the first one. :)**

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><p>It was Friendship day in Camelot. Friends spent the day together, and gave each other gifts. It was like Christmas, minus the religion.<p>

The prince was in a predicament. Despite the difference in social status, he couldn't deny that he considered Merlin his best friend. He was thinking of giving Merlin the day off, but then he wouldn't be able to spend the day with him.

After hours of thought (his brain hurt), Arthur came up with the perfect gift for Merlin.

Arthur would allow Merlin to be graced with his presence the entire day. Merlin would be so happy!

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	24. Chapter 24 Friendship Day Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Merlin season 4 came out today :O Right?**  
><strong>I wish I could see it.<strong>

**But I can't find it online T_T NOOOOOOOOO! Someone please tell me a site where I can watch it!**

**Here's part 2/3 of my little friendship day series. Enjoy!**

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><p>It was still friendship day.<p>

Sometime during mid afternoon, Uther walked into the physician's chambers looking nervous and out of place.

The king loudly cleared his voice, which caused Gaius to look up from his book.

"Yes sire?" Gaius asked.

"Well Gaius, today is friendship day." Uther said, avoiding Gaius's eyes. "And I know that what I've done to you has probably ruined the friendship we used to share, but I'm here to say that I'm sorry. " And with that, the king swiftly walked out the door.

Gaius stared at the door, not believing what he had just heard.

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><p><strong>Please Review :)<strong>


	25. Chapter 25 Friendship Day Part 3

**Disclaimer: I Don't own Merlin.**

**Last Part of my little Friendship Day series! This one is kinda boring though... but then again, I find Gwen a boring character.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Yes, it was still friendship day.<p>

Gwen sighed as she walked through the corridors. She had been helping the servants in the kitchen with their duties, since she was no longer Morgana's Maidservant.

She missed Morgana. The kind, caring Morgana, who did the right thing. Not the current cold, heartless one. The one who killed innocent people, and took over Camelot.

But at least she still had Merlin and the other servants as her friends.

Gwen smiled at the thought of her friends.

So feeling happier than she had all day, she skipped off to pick flowers and find Merlin.

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><p><strong>Please Review!<strong>


	26. Chapter 26 Escape while you still can!

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Merlin.**

**I bought a pocket watch today. Then I began thinking about the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Then I came up with this...**

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><p>"Go!" Arthur heard Merlin frantically whisper to a nearby bush. "Get away while you still can!"<p>

'_Who could Merlin be talking to_?' Arthur wondered.

"Leave now, or you'll be caught. They don't show mercy to your kind here!" Merlin practically yelled at the bush.

'_Wait a minute, is Merlin talking to a sorcerer_?' Arthur thought, and he quickly began walking up behind his manservant, with a hand on his sword.

"Hurry! Camelot is filled with bloodthirsty rabbit murderers!" Merlin told the white rabbit, who was too lazy to flee.

Arthur took several deep breaths, counted to ten, and walked away.

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><p><strong>Review please!<strong>


	27. Chapter 27 Related

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Sorry I haven't written a drabble in a while! I've been planning a story though, and I'll probably write it in December during Winter Break… **

**WARNING: This was based on the end of Episode 2 of Season 4, so… I think this has spoilers in it. Yeah.**

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><p>One magical day in Camelot, Uther was sitting on his throne yelling at innocent people like all good kings do. As he was yelling at one of the stable boys, he noticed it was beginning to become dark outside.<p>

"IT MUST BE THE WORK OF SORCERY! GUARDS!" He bellowed, and sent out all the guards to hunt for witches. Again.

(some years later)

Morgana was sitting and staring at the window, while brushing her hair. She couldn't help but notice a split end.

"NOOOO! I NEVER GET SPLIT ENDS! It must be the work of Emrys!"

Yup, they're definitely related.

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><p><strong>Please Review :)<strong>


	28. Chapter 28 Lipstick

**Disclaimer: Does anyone honestly think I own Merlin? Because I don't. And never will. **

**This is really stupid... I got this idea because I realized in one episode, Merlin and Morgana had the same coloured lips.**

**Warning: This drabble contains a man wearing lipstick. You have been warned. **

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><p>Morgana was cursing the world and getting ready one night, when she realized something.<p>

She couldn't find her lipstick.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screeched, breaking several windows. "I need to feel FABULOUS!"

(_The next morning, near Camelot_)

Merlin was walking through the forest, picking herbs and enjoying the peace and quiet, when he found lipstick lying on the ground.

He picked it up, and saw it was a pale pink color. Merlin wondered how it felt. He always thought lipstick looked cakey and uncomfortable.

In a moment of girly insanity, he decided to try it on.

He thought he looked quite pretty.

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><p><strong>Stupid right?<strong>

**Please review!**


	29. Chapter 29 Mosquitoes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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><p>Merlin was grumpily cleaning one of Arthur's many boots, when Arthur himself burst into the room. His face was bright red, and he looked like he just ran a marathon.<p>

"Close the windows! Make sure nothing can get in!"

Merlin instantly entered secret-warlock-bodyguard mode.

"What's wrong Arthur? Is it another Sorcerer?"

"no, much worse." He said gravely. "A giant swarm of mosquitoes."

Merlin stared at Arthur for a few moments, before bursting out into laughter.

"A few bugs? That's what you're afraid of?"

"Look out the window."

Merlin walked to the window and looked out.

It was a mosquito apocalypse.

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><p><strong>I had the same reaction that Arthur did the other day, but instead of a swarm, it was only one.<strong>

**I don't like being bitten :(**

**Please review! Reviews make me smile.**


	30. Chapter 30 The Smart way

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Someone has probably written something with this same idea, but oh well.**

**I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>A suspicious man in dressed in all black walked into the busy banquet hall.<p>

Arthur rose to address him. "Lord Nadius, what are you doing here?"

"I have come to kill you." He replied.

Arthur and the others laughed. "Ahahahaha! That's funny." Arthur said.

"Seriously, I have the knife and everything." Nadius said.

"But you don't have an elaborate scheme involving magic! How could you possibly kill me?"

Nadius walked up to Arthur. "Like this." He said, plunging the knife through Arthur's chest. "I'm surprised someone hasn't already done that…" Nadius said.

And that was the end of Arthur Pendragon.

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><p><strong>I'd like to thank all the people that have reviewed so far and read these drabbles.<strong>

**THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL! SO MUCH THAT I NEEDED TO SAY IT IN CAPS!**

**If I could, i'd give you all pet unicorns. Alas, I can't. You'll have to settle for my love and gratitude.**


	31. Chapter 31 I can't think of a title

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Merlin.**

**_Warning_: This drabble may be T rated.**

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><p>A new maidservant called Galia couldn't help but notice Gwen was invited into Agravaines chambers late one night.<p>

A few weeks later, a rather handsome manservant named Merlin was also called to the man's chambers.

Alone. At night.

It was rather suspicious.

One day Galia and Gwen were doing laundry together.

"Oh I hope Agravaine doesn't call me to his chambers. He looks like a toad!" Galia said. "Say Gwen, was he rough when… you know…"

Gwen was confused, until it dawned on her. "What? Oh gods no, he just asked my opinion that's all!"

Galia had trouble believing her.

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><p><strong>I hope someone found it funny :) Please review!<strong>


	32. Chapter 32 I Told You So

**Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, (spoiler) Uther would still be alive. **

**Well I just had to make this drabble. Because Arthur really should have learned by now that listening to Merlin would make his life a whole lot easier.**

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><p>"Arthur! You're cousin is evil and trying to kill you!"<p>

"Don't be ridiculous Merlin. He's the most trustworthy man I know."

"But his evil plans are all written in this!" said Merlin, waving around a diary.

"That could mean anything!"

"ARTHUR! He has tried to push you off a cliff-"

"He tripped." Arthur insisted.

"-and he gave you a bottle of poison, asking you to see if it was deadly enough,"

"We can't have poison that doesn't work."

"AND HE'S ABOUT TO STAB YOU!"

"Don't be absurd-"

-stab-

"I told you so, Prat." Merlin said sadly. "Why didn't you listen?"

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><p><strong>Sorry for killing Arthur. Don't worry though, Merlin found a way to save him.<strong>

**Please review!**


	33. Chapter 33 Not Very Helpful

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**The lastest episode was so sad. ****But it was an amazing episode.**

**Also, Arty told them to make sure he had a proper burial. But they didn't bury him... does it still count as a burial? Who ever tells me gets imaginary cookies!**

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><p>During a council meeting, a knight with a giant gash in his chest burst through the doors. "My lord! There is a magical beast in the forest!"<p>

"Where?" Arthur inquired.

"In the forest!"

"Where in the forest?"

The knight clutched his stomach and coughed up blood. "My lord, I want you to know that I was happy to serve you, and you are a great king." He said, before collapsing to the floor and closing his eyes forever.

"He was a great man." Leon said.

"Yes, whats-his-face was great. But couldn't he have told us something helpful?" Arthur said, exasperated.

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><p><strong>Don't review!<strong>

**(I'm using reverse psychology. Please review!)**


	34. Chapter 34 Main Female Protagonist Part1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Warning: Spoilers for Season 4**

**In Episode 9, Gwen was banished for cheating. First Morgana, now Gwen, I don't think theres any main female protagonists (MFP) in Camelot! Someone please correct me if I'm wrong and there is another Main Female Protagonist left.**

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><p>A group of people gathered in the forest one evening. Despite the fact that they all wore masks, you could tell that they were all female.<p>

One woman, the leader, stepped on a tree stump and addressed the group.

"Ladies, I have gathered you here today to bring you some horrible news. There are no longer any main female protagonists in Merlin!"

"Um, in Merlin?" a woman asked.

"The show! Not the person."

"Oh."

"Something must be done about this. Does anyone have a plan?"

A young woman in the back raised her hand. "I do."

"Splendid! Let's hear it."

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed :D I'll probably have a part 2 and 3. But really, someone tell me if there's another MFP left!<strong>


	35. Chapter 35 Main Female Protagonist Part2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Ah I forgot to put this up yesterday! My bad.**

**This is part 2/3 of the MFP series.**

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><p>A group of masked women marched into the council room, where Arthur, Merlin, Agravaine, and some old guys were.<p>

Arthur stood up to address his unexpected guests. "Um hello, who-"

Before he could finish, the leader of the women chanted a spell, and Arthur was pushed to the floor by a pretty pink light. The masked women giggled.

"Arthur are you alright?" Merlin asked.

"Yes but I feel strange…"

Arthur realized he was now a she, and she fainted.

"Why did you turn the king into a woman?" Agravaine asked.

"Because the show needed an MFP." The leader replied. "Duh."

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it :D Please review!<strong>


	36. Chapter 36 Main Female Protagonist Part3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**Here's part 3/3 :) I Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>While ArthurArthina(?) lay unconscious, Merlin and the leader of the masked women talked.

"What's an MFP?" Merlin asked.

"A Main Female Protagonist. We need one in Merlin."

"In me?"

"The show."

"What show?"

"Never mind. The point is, the show needed an MFP. You're already so feminine, if we made you into one, the audience may not be able to tell the difference."

"Hey!"

"It's true."

"Why don't you go after the writers?"

The leader thought it over.

"You're right! C'mon girls, let's go!"

The writers were in for a surprise.

And they decided to leave Arthur/Arthina as a female.

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><p><strong>I don't like the way I wrote this mini MFP series very much... But oh well. <strong>

**If you did like it, please tell me. It would make me happy!**


	37. Chapter 37 Luckiest Cow in the World

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**I haven't written a drabble in a while... Well actually I have. In my mind.**

**Also I'm changing my pen name from EvilCabbagezPwn to Magic Cabbage.**

**Ya hear/read that? My new name is Magic Cabbage!**

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><p>"You my dear, are the light of my world. My entire pitiful existance revolves around you my love!" Gwaine said.<p>

Leon and Eylan stared at the drunken man.

"Do you think we should drag him home?" Eylan asked.

"Nah he should be fine. He does this all the time." Leon replied.

"But Leon, he's proclaiming his love for a cow. A COW."

"And your eyes, are the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. Your pale skin seems to glow in the moonlight."

And then Gwaine attempted to sing to the cow.

"Okay let's get him out of here. Now."

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><p><strong>I Hope you enjoyed :) Please review!<strong>


	38. Chapter 38 Skeleton in the Closet

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

**I haven't written a drabble in a while :( Not that any of you probably care, since theres a bunch of other people who write drabbles. Better drabbles...**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>Arthur walked into the physician's chambers<p>

one day looking for Merlin. He stomped to Merlin's door and almost broke it as he swung it open.

As he walked into the room, he spotted Merlin frantically stuffing something into his wardrobe.

Something that looked suspiciously like a skeleton.

"Merlin…"

Merlin looked up with his best innocent face on. "Hello. What brings you here?"

"You're late. What's in your clos-"

"Nothing." Merlin quickly said, cutting him off.

"It looked like a skeleton-"

"It was nothing."

"But-"

"You didn't see anything." Merlin said sternly, and Arthur decided he didn't really want to know.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it! :)<strong>

_P.S. A while back I said I was planning on writing a story in December... well obviously I didn't, since December has come and gone. But the reason I haven't wrote a story is because I've been busy reading other fanfics. And watching Doctor Who. I'm very lazy. And I probably won't be writing another story for a while. Maybe during summer break I will. But then again you probably don't care. So just ignore this little message._


	39. Chapter 39 Shiny Crown

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**I haven't written a drabble in over a month! Sorry to those of you who care. And this one isn't very good. Not that my other ones are good either...**

**Well here ya go. I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>'Twas a beautiful day in Camelot. The King and his manservant were discussing their destiny.<p>

"So I'm going to be the greatest King in history? The one to unite all of Albion?" Arthur asked.

"Yes that sounds about right."

"I'm amazing! I knew I was great, but not this great!"

Merlin then realized telling him about their destiny did nothing to help Arthur's ego.

"Yeah well without me, you'd be nothing. And you'd probably be dead."

"…"

"And without you, I'd still be the most powerful warlock ever." Merlin added.

"… Well you don't have a shiny crown. So there."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	40. Chapter 40 Rabid Raccoons

**Disclaimer: I no own Merlin.**

**Look I finally wrote another drabble thing!**

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><p>Merlin stood leaning against a tree, watching as another group of bloodthirsty bandits attacked their camp. They were Camelot's finest knights. So why on earth did they have trouble with these common bandits?<br>A particularly large bandit swung his battle axe at Arthur, barely missing the king's head.  
>This was becoming ridiculous.<br>At this point, Merlin would usually defeat the bandits with falling branches. But this time, he decided to change things up a little.  
>Merlin's eyes flashed gold, and within seconds, a giant pack of rabid raccoons attacked the bandits. And the knights... Oh well. They were tough guys.<p>

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it!<strong>

**Also, I'd appreciate it if you take a look at some oneshot stuff I've written.**

**Oh and please review! **


	41. Chapter 41 Stupid Wardrobe

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**This one was a request from **Aldryne21**, who was my 100th reviewer :) I tried my best writing it. My best probably isn't that good though...**

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><p>Merlin was having a horrible day.<p>

So when he hit his foot on Arthur's wardrobe, he snapped.

"REALLY? You just HAD to be in my way, didn't you? You don't even work properly! Your doors ALWAYS get stuck, and Arthur yells at me for taking too long getting his clothes. I should just use you for firewood you piece of-"

**(later)**

Arthur returned from a meeting to find his manservant yelling at furniture.

"Merlin what are you…"

"And you don't even lead to Narnia! Any wardrobe that can't manage that is useless!"

_'Yup, Merlin's finally lost it._' Arthur thought.

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><p><strong>Ok everything after this is just a thank you to my reviewers. Just saying so you won't have to waste your time reading it.<strong>

I just wanted to thank you guys. Your reviews really make me happy :) Whenever I see that I've gotten a review or a favorite or an alert thing, I feel like I just opened a really big gift on my birthday. I wish I had cake to give to each and every one of you.

I was going to list all the people who have reviewed so far... but im lazy :( Sorry.

I'm not really confident in my writing abilities (Though it's not really that hard to write 100 words..) so i'm really glad that all of you people like these enough to take the time to review.

Gah I feel sappy.

So yeah.. thank you so much! Wow this is a long thank you. Sorry about that.


	42. Chapter 42 Good Luck Charm

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :(**

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><p>Gwaine took another swig of his ale as he watched a man win at cards continuously.<br>"How can one man have so much luck?" The knight asked the beefy man sitting beside him.  
>"Well he says it's his girlfriend. Says she's his good luck charm. Never plays a game without her at his side."<br>_I could use one of those_ Gwaine thought. _Someone who always won no matter what the odds, who survived and did the impossible.  
>Wait a minute...<em>  
>-Next day-<br>"Hey Merlin, you think you could ask the Queen for a day off to come gambling with me?"

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><p><strong>This wasn't as funny as it was in my head... oh well.<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed it :) **


	43. Chapter 43 Look It's a Book!

**Disclaimer: I don't need to keep disclaiming do I? Well I don't own Merlin.**

**I probably didn't use the quotation marks right... meh.**

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><p>Arthur came to his room to find a note attached to a book lying outside his door. Curious, he picked it up and read the note.<p>

'Dear Arthur, the best kings are knowledgeable and read often. I hope you find this book enlightening.'

Arthur looked at the cover of the book and saw that it was called "Sorcerers", by a man named Nemlir Semyr. He turned it over to see what it was about.

"Sorcerers are just like you and I, except they're smarter, look better, and can kill you without lifting a finger."

Well, this book certainly seemed…Interesting.

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><p><strong>Nemlir Semyr = Merlin Emrys<strong>

**Hope you liked it :) **


	44. Chapter 44 We have a Merlin

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**I wrote this at around four in the morning. Just saying. This is based on that one scene in the Avengers.**

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><p>Morgana and Arthur stood in a tall tower overlooking Camelot, and watched as the kingdom was swarmed with Morgana's men.<p>

Morgana cackled evilly. "Arthur dear, just give up. Camelot doesn't stand a chance. I have an entire army of undead evil sorcerers!" Because undead armies and Morgana go perfectly together.

Arthur, who was totally relaxed and leaning against a nearby wall, took a sip of his wine, and said "We have a Merlin. The warlock kind. Not the bird."

Morgana looked out the window to see over half of her army blow up.

'Well… that didn't go exactly as planned.'

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><p><strong>I probably should have written this when the movie first came out... oh well. Better late than never.<strong>


	45. Chapter 45 Horse Ballet

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**This is another drabble I should have put up earlier... oh well.**

**Inspired by Mitt Romney's horse.**

**No offence to dressage. Just saying.**

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><p>Arthur and Merlin went out to the courtyard to greet King Asien, who was visit Camelot for a few weeks. To thank Arthur for inviting him, he brought some, um,<em> unique <em>entertainment.

Once the visiting king was given a brief tour, Arthur and Merlin walked back to Arthur's chambers. The second they were out of sight, Merlin began laughing.

"Horse ballet?"

"Its proper name is dressage." Arthur clarified, in a tone that suggested Merlin was an idiot. Though Merlin could see Arthur was fighting down a smile.

"HORSE BALLET?"

"Yes Mer-lin. Horse ballet."

"My gods, you nobles really are insane!"

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><p><strong>Yes, it actually exists.<strong>


	46. Chapter 46 Please Don't Kill my Husband

**I haven't updated in 13 days! That's almost 2 weeks! I meant to be updating around once a week for the summer... Oh well. **

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><p>Gwen was having a fantastic day. She saved a kitten, found a nice pretty flower, and had no queenly duties till tomorrow. Her day could not get any better.<p>

Then she ran into Merlin.

"Merlin! How are you today?" She asked. He looked rather annoyed.

"Fine. You haven't moved into Arthur's chambers yet, right?" He said, with a diabolical look in his eyes.

"No, I was planning to next week. Why?"

"I'm going to set Arthur's room on fire."

"Oh. I see. Be careful!"

Gwen then spent the rest of the day trying not to fear for her husband's life.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked this and reading it wasn't just a waste of time :) <strong>


	47. Chapter 47 Keep Calm

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. **

**Prequel to the last one. Remember it? If not go read it after you read this. It will take like, half a second. **

**This one isn't really hahahahha funny... I hope you guys like it though :)**

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><p>In hindsight, Merlin probably shouldn't have drank that anger potion that was mysteriously left by his bed. But how was he to know that the glowing red potion was magical?<p>

'Well, it should be fine as long as I try to keep calm.' Merlin thought.

He entered Arthur's chambers, only to be greeting by a snarling king who looked ready to throw that nearby vase at an innocent manservant.

"Merlin you imbecile, you're late! You are the most incompetent, useless person in all of Albion!" Arthur raged.

The vase shattered two feet from Merlin's head.

So much for staying calm.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>


	48. Chapter 48 Merlin Needs to Lock his Door

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**This drabble isn't really HAHAAHA Funny. Well, none of these are...**

**My low self-esteem needs to shut up.**

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><p>Arthur strode into Merlin's room and stared down at his sleeping manservant. He wondered why Merlin was so tired. There wasn't much he could have done late last night, since a giant monster had been rampaging through Camelot. It had also destroyed most of the taverns, much to Gwaine's dismay.<p>

Merlin was so lazy. He was always late (like today), and complaining about chores. He should try having real responsibility one day, like the knights did. Protecting Camelot was a lot of work.

Arthur continued to stare at his now wakening manservant.

"Um, Arthur? Why were you watching me sleep?"

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><p><strong>Review or Arthur will watch you while you sleep.<strong>

**Unless you want him to do that. In that case, if you review, he will watch you sleep.**


	49. Chapter 49 He's Not THAT Old

**I bet you forgot about these drabbles! Sorry... been busy lately. S5 has begun :D Whoo! So I'll try to do these more often. Can't promise anything though.**

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><p>Arthur walked into Gaius's chambers to find Merlin just standing there in front of the physician.<p>

"Merlin? What are you doing? I told you, you need to polish the-"

"I think Gaius is dead." Merlin bluntly said.

"And then…wait what?"

"He hasn't moved for hours." Merlin explained, looking extremely worried.

Arthur poked Gaius on the arm. "Well he is rather old. Maybe his time has come." Arthur said, trying to be comforting. His attempt failed.

Merlin's eyes began to fill with tears.

In hopes of getting a reaction, Arthur shoved Gaius to the floor.

"OW! WHAT ARE YOU-"

"He's alive!"

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><p><strong>Check out my other stuff maybe, and review?<strong>


	50. Chapter 50 Gaius's Fair Hair Care

**Greetings! **

**Trueromantic33 requested that I do one on Gaius's new hair. And really, it needed to be done. **

**I hope I did a good job :)**

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><p>"Gaius! See Merlin around?" Gwaine said as he entered the physician's chambers.<br>"No, I haven't."  
>"I'll wait here then." Gwaine pushed a pile of old papers off a bench and sat down.<br>Gaius was about to resume his medicine mixing, when a question occurred to him.  
>"How do you care for your hair? Um... A patient wanted to know."<br>"I use olive oil and only wash it with cold water." He explained. "Oh I hear Merlin!" He exclaimed, and knocked over a vial as he dashed out.  
>Needless to say, Gaius's hair didn't turn out as marvelous as Gwaine's.<p>

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><p><strong>Also...This collection of drabbles now has it's very own cover! It looks like it was done by a kindergartner.<br>**

**So mobile users, when you get a chance, look at my poorly done cover! I had fun making it.**

**Oh, and review please.**


	51. Chapter 51 Brass Jokes

George's eyes followed Arthur around the room, as the King got ready. Arthur's usual manservant, Merlin, was out again today, picking herbs for Gaius. George wouldn't get another opportunity like this for a while.

George thought back to when he had been assigned his mission. "This is a task only you can manage George. Drive Arthur insane, and you'll never have to worry about food ever again. It shouldn't be hard. After all, it runs in the family." Lord Altair promised.

George had the perfect plan.

The manservant smirked, and asked, "Would you like to hear another brass joke, Sire?"

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><p><strong>Smirky Gwen, Smirky Merlin, and now Smirky George. <strong>

**I hope you enjoyed!**

**Spoilers for season 5:**

**I bet Sefa will end up all smirky too. Servants these days...**


	52. Chapter 52 The Last Surviving Dragon

As Merlin walked to the clearing, he wondered why the Great Dragon had called him.

"Greetings, young warlock." Kilgharrah said, looking rather embarrassed about something.

"Well what is it then? It's the middle of the night!"

"Do you remember how I told you of your great destiny?" the dragon started.

"How could I forget?"

"Well… it seems that I have made a slight mistake in my prediction." Kilgharrah admitted. "As it turns out, this man behind me is the true Emrys."He said, lifting his wing to reveal… George.

Needless to say, Aithusa became the last surviving dragon in the world.

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><p><strong>Another George Drabble! I have no idea why. <strong>

**I feel like I didn't write the dragon's dialogue very well. It was hard, with only 100 words...**

**Anyway I hope you like it :)**


	53. Chapter 53 Just In Case

**You guys see episode 6 of season 5 yet? ****Oh my god...**

**This drabble doesn't contain any spoilers though if you haven't. Just don't read the note there at the end.**

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><p>The beautiful Queen Kivra was going to be visiting Camelot for the week.<p>

Gwen was not pleased.

Kivra had hair that many claimed to be made of gold. Her eyes were beautiful green, and everyone adored her. Not that Gwen didn't trust Arthur, but he was a man after all.

Arthur walked out into the courtyard to greet his visitor. "Kivra, it is wonderful to see you!"

Gwen tugged her dress down a bit.

"You're looking as good as ever, Arthur." Kivra complimented, pulling him into a hug.

Kivra had better hope Gwen didn't get her hands on a jug.

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><p><strong><span>Spoiler below<span>:**

**I'm going to try to put down all my Gwen related ideas I currently have before the next episode, so there'll be 1 or 2 more Gwen related drabbles this week. Just in case she goes dark side and her character completely changes.**

** I was not expecting that plot twist... though in hindsight I should have, considering the legends.**

**End of Spoiler**

**I hope you liked it :) Feel free to review!**


	54. Chapter 54 He Does NOT Fight Like A Girl

Merlin crashed to the ground, nearly landing on a dangerous looking rock.

"Toughen up Merlin. You fight like a girl!" Arthur mocked, waiting for Merlin to get up again so he could continue practice.

Just as Merlin was about to stand up, Gwen appeared out of nowhere.

"Arthur Pendragon! What do you mean he fights like a girl? That's insulting to women everywhere!" Gwen scolded.

"Hey!" Merlin said indignantly.

Gwen proceeded with a long, passionate rant of women's rights and sexism. Arthur looked prepared to beg for mercy.

Merlin quietly sneaked away, grateful for not having to stay for training.

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><p><strong>Guys, did you hear about the possible spoilers for after season 5? <strong>

**Not sure if that possible news makes me sad or happy...**

**Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed :)**


	55. Chapter 55 Is that a Merlin?

**Sorry I haven't put up a new one in forever! I've just been a bit sad since I heard Merlin is ending. This show Merlin has actually changed my life and now that it's coming to a close...**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy this :)**

* * *

><p>"Pick up the pace Mer-lin!" Arthur shouted from his horse.<p>

"Do you really need all this food? You look like you've had more than enough." Merlin replied. The knights laughed at the pair's banter.

_'Arthur is so demanding sometimes,'_ thought Merlin. _'Most times in fact. I wish he'd disappear for a while so I could take a break.'_

As Merlin daydreamed, Arthur spotted a rapidly growing black dot in the sky. "What the-", the king exclaimed, as a giant falcon snatched him off his horse.

_'Oops,_' Merlin thought. _'At least he won't be around to throw anything at defenseless servants.'_

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><p><strong>I figured the fandom needed some more happiness during this dark time so... yeah.<strong>

**Also, MERLIN INVENTED RACCOONS. **


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